


An Elaborate Lie (Or Is It?)

by cranber



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Comfort No Hurt, F/F, Fake Relationship, Fluff, babs is head over heels, ed is Dumb, they get together!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:13:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16050542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cranber/pseuds/cranber
Summary: Lee proposes an idea. To get Ed to leave her be, she needs to be in another relationship.Thompkeanweek Day 2:Fake Relationship





	An Elaborate Lie (Or Is It?)

“I have a problem.”

Lee strutted in like she’d owned the place, and flung herself at the barstool next to Barbara, sighing semi-dramatically. Not like Babs was arguing. She took Lee Thompkins’s appearance at her club as a welcome sight.  “The Riddler of all people is obsessed with me.” Lee explained. “Got any alcohol? I can’t be sober when I decide to propose this next idea.” She waved her hands dramatically, and Barbara chuckled, speaking briefly and snappily to the bartender as she listened to Lee.

“What idea did you have in mind?” Barbara asked inquisitorial, turning towards Lee and putting her face in her hands, studying the other woman’s face for any sense of hidden emotion. A bottle of bourbon was handed to Barbara and she slid it across the smooth surface of the bar towards Lee, who grabbed it and took a quick swig before returning to her plan.  “You’re going to call me insane for this,” Lee said, watching Barbara take a sip of her blue-colored drink that Lee wasn’t even going to  _ try _ and identify. Barbara smiled, tight lipped. “Nothing more insane than me, darling. Do continue.”

“Okay. I know how to get Nygma to stop obsessing over me, and that is to be in another relationship.” 

Barbara practically choked on her drink and she put it down suddenly, her face red. After composing herself for a short amount of time, she looked Lee straight in the eyes. “Lee, are you asking me out? Have you forgotten that you, uh, pretty much despise me?”

Truth be told, Barbara was hoping Lee would say yes to her question. Barbara thought that Lee would be a suitable girlfriend.  Okay, not _ just  _ suitable. Like, a really really good girlfriend. Lee was smart, gorgeous, and fiesty, and honestly, Barbara had a little bit of a crush on her.  _ A fucking schoolgirl crush on her!  _ Barbara thought to herself, internally sighing.  _ You’re too old and beautiful for this, Babs, Get yourself together! _

“Hah! You wish. I’m just proposing that we pretend to be dating so Nygma will hop off my back and hopefully go crawling back to that Penguin of his. Anyways, you can protect me if he tries to surgically cut off my face for not loving him back, and I think you’re well protected enough yourself if he tries to do the same to you.”

Barbara knew she was going to say yes internally, however she gave herself a few beats for dramatism before responding with a thoughtful “Hmm. Yes. I suppose.”  Lee smiled, not exactly at Barbara, but seemingly at the fact that her plans had worked smoothly. After a second of internal victory as it seemed, Lee spoke up. “There is going to have to be ground rules. Like, whenever he or people associated with him aren’t around, we don’t have to keep the charade up.” Barbara nodded.

“And I hope you’re okay with this bit, because we’re probably going to have to kiss and do other things.” Lee said.  _ How can she say all of this conversationally? Like, she isn’t even freaking out about it at all,  _ Barbara pondered, heart fluttering in her chest at the prospect of actually getting to kiss Leslie Thompkins, before looking up at Lee. “That’s perfectly fine with me, babe. But the real question is, are you okay with it? I mean, you’re as straight as a ruler.”

Lee chuckled at this, moving her hand to her mouth to conceal her laughter. “Babs, haven’t you got the notice that literally no one in Gotham is straight?”

“I guess you’re right,” Barbara said, however her butterflies increased at the news. Lee wasn’t straight! That actually meant that she had a chance!  _ Come on, stop freaking out! She wouldn’t date you anyways,  _ Barbara scolded herself.

“We’re also going to have to practice that so it seems natural,” Lee said.  Barbara’s mind turned in circles for the second time in one night. “The kissing part? Or, do you mean, like, the holding hands part.”  Lee looked Barbara dead in the eyes and said, “I meant the kissing part.”

“Like, how are you chill about this?” Barbara asked, putting down her drink and swiveling to face Lee entirely. “I mean, if we kissed I would totally smoke you because of my skill, but, like, you aren’t freaked at all about the whole  _ “I should just ask one of my enemies to fake date me so I can get this damn green bean of a guy away from me” _ kinda thing.”

She just shrugged in response, sweeping her bangs away. “I don’t know. It kind of seems like a normal idea in this shitshow of a town, hey?”  Barbara smiled. “Preach.”

\---

“Hey, Barbara. It’s me, Lee.” Lee spoke over the phone nonchalantly. “I think today is the day we can pull off this scheme.”

“Yes, sweetie, I knew it was you by the fact that your caller ID says “Doctor Leslie Thompkins.” You should really, really get that updated. Anyways, do explain!”

Lee launched into some detailed idea about how Barbara was going to offer to help with Lee’s operation in the Narrows. Lee knew Ed would be suspicious and skeptical about this, so she planned it by giving a vague hint that her generosity had something to do with the relationship. Then, they’d meet, give vague hints and when Ed finally spoke up about it, confirm it and kiss.

Barbara’s head swam with worry about the plan, however she reluctantly agreed. “Alright. Sounds good. What time?” She scanned over her schedule residing on the desk in front of her, even though she knew she’d clear it for Lee anyways. “Around five.”

Lee laid out the details of where to meet her, and Barbara spent the rest of the day anxiously thinking about it.  _ Her love for Lee really did make her out of character, _ she thought to herself. Wait, _ love?  _ This was really getting out of hand. 

\---

At five o clock she was escorted over to the place where Lee’d told her to meet her, and she stepped out, heels clacking against the stone of the haphazard pavement, She greeted Lee with a wave and a bright smile, turning to Ed and nodding briskly, face dropping to something reminiscent of a scowl.

“Hi, babes,” Barbara said, nearing Lee and blushing wildly as Lee pulled her into an embrace. Even though Barbara knew they would end up doing stuff along the lines of this for the plot, she really hadn’t thought it would happen so soon. However, she knew that deep down this wasn’t enough evidence for dumb old Nygma to piece together the puzzle. He probably thought this was just a thing that all girls did anyways, the pathetic idiot.

“Ed, I told you earlier, but Barbara has decided to help us out from the generosity of her heart! Isn’t that kind of her,” Lee said, turning to face Ed and smiling genuinely. Or, at least, it appeared genuine.  “It was a little more than generosity, darling,” Barbara said, smiling at Lee conspiratorial, turning back to Ed with the same blank stare she’d fixed him with earlier.

Ed just listened as Lee laid out the plans of how Barbara would be helping out. Lee had made sure that the plans would seem logical earlier, even though she knew that Barbara wasn’t actually going to be giving them any money or help. After they finished explaining, Lee looked down for a quick second, reached out and squeezed Barbara’s hand, and before she could predict it--

Lee had moved in, kissing Barbara gently. Barbara didn’t really have enough time to react or think about it as it was happening, as before she knew it, Lee had pulled back. Barbara knew that she’d gone completely red and was clutching Lee’s hand harder than normal.  _ What happened to practice? _ Barbara thought, however she didn’t complain at all. Quite frankly, she felt the opposite.

Barbara was suddenly aware of Ed’s presence even through her haze as he stuttered out a confused string of incoherent words. “I--Lee--W-What?”

“Oh, Ed! You didn’t hear the news? I thought everyone knew.” Lee dropped Barbara’s hand from her grasp, turning to face him, putting on a giddy act that Barbara honestly would’ve thought was convincing if the circumstances were altered. “Me and Babs have been together for a while.”

“You and…” Ed seemed to need time to process this information, and he looked away, baffled. Lee giggled, the sweetest sound Barbara had heard all day, leaning into Barbara’s ear and whispering, “Thanks for the help. I’ll message you later to tell you how it went.”  Barbara nodded, head still reeling, and gave Lee one last embrace before waving goodbye to her and the still awestruck ed.

\---

Barbara had kissed Leslie Thompkins.

Was this all a dream? Or a cruel nightmare in which she was bound to wake up where Lee went back to hating her and this was all a dream? Or, even worse, Lee had fallen for Ed? She shivered at the thought.

She was still amazed at how it had played out. Not exactly an ideal first kiss with her crush, but Barbara would take it over nothing. She didn’t exactly have any time to think about it when it was happening, but afterward she felt herself thinking about how soft Lee’s lips had been, how gentle her hugs were and how perfectly her hands felt clasped together with Barbara’s. 

She didn’t have much time to ponder this, as her phone flipped open, reading a text from Lee.  **Hi. It went well. Can I come over?** Barbara smiled and quickly texted back, her manicured fingers flying over the keypad.   **Sure. Meet me in a half an hour at my club.**

Right after sending it she flew to her back room, checking her hair and makeup in the washroom and making sure the place was pristine. It was as good as it was going to get, she supposed, especially with all of the patrons still drinking and chatting.

She waited anxiously, a drink in hand, for Lee to show up. After a while, she cleared all the customers out, citing an early closing time. They begrudgingly agreed and didn’t leave too much of a mess. Well, at least, no blood or obvious signs that violence had occurred. She was lucky.

Lee came in, waving without a smile at Barbara and moving towards her, propping herself up on a barstool, mirroring the positions they’d been sitting in just a few nights ago when Lee had proposed this whole crazy scheme. Barbara had sent the bartender home too, but she offered Lee anything from the back. Lee had declined.

“Hey, Barbara, I want to give you a sincere thank you for deciding to help me out.” Lee gave Barbara a real smile for the first time that night. “It seemed to have worked, too. He’s still processing it--I think there’s still some ice left in the romantic part of his brain--, but I think he’ll be fine, and he hasn’t done anything weird or obviously crush-y to me since he got the news. But hey, if I ever need you again, I’ll certainly call you.”

Barbara smiled back at her, heart hurting. She knew that the whole thing was fantasy, but she’d kind of gotten herself attached to the idea of kissing Lee again and doing all of the lovey-dovey things that she’d done when she was just acting with Lee again. “It’s certainly good that he’s leaving you alone now.”   


“Yeah,” Lee said, having nothing else to say, and Barbara relented to drinking in silence, leaving Lee to ponder. Barbara didn’t know what Lee was thinking about, but she sure hoped that it wouldn’t be total regret of the whole fiasco and going back to hating Barbara again like they had back before Arkham. 

Barbara felt a hand on her face, and she turned, looking Lee straight in the eyes, before--

Lee was kissing her again. Wait,  _ what? _ Lee was kissing her again!   


This time, it wasn’t a fast, unmeaningful touch of lips like it was when they’d just been acting for Ed. This time it felt real, and it made Barbara feel light-headed with love. Lee pulled back and Barbara felt herself wishing for more. However, Lee had started frantically talking.  “I knew that there was.. Something. I knew that my heart would only be filled by your presence for a while now. Definitely, before I thought up this whole idea. And I don’t regret doing it, but I’m sorry I was selfish in choosing you, when you obviously don’t feel the s--”

Barbara cut Lee off with another chaste kiss, pulling back slowly and looking Lee in the eyes. “I do feel the same! I have for a very, very long time, babe. I thought  _ you _ didn’t feel the same.” They both laughed about the whole irony of it all, smiling at eachother, giddy like teenagers who had just experienced the feeling of real and pure love for the first time.

“I guess this means that we’re gonna have to keep up this “act” around everyone else now, too?” Barbara joked, looking at Lee with a twinkle in her eyes, reaching down and grabbing her hand, feeling it fit into place like the last piece of a puzzle.

“Act?” Lee shook her head, still smiling. “I mean, I hope it’s a reality now.” Barbara put a hand over her heart and mock-gasped. “Leslie Thompkins! Are you asking  _ me,  _ of all people, to be your girlfriend?”

“Of course, Barbara Kean,” Lee said, jokingly, before moving in to kiss her once more. And finally, Barbara felt whole.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!  
> i know i still have to catch up! i'll hopefully get two fics done and posted tomorrow, because it's the weekend, so i can get caught up!   
> i hope you enjoyed this, and as usual, comments are super super welcome!


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